Barbara Escamilla
Sounds to me like you need a new or bigger support system. I am wondering why your"friend" keeps putting you down like that. Having herpes need not stop you from having a significat other. As you know herpes is only contagious when it is active, otherwise use a condom. May I suggest that you look for otherwaaaaaaaays to meet people, church, a class, a special interest group, etc. Let people get to know you, and you them, before you say anything about the herpes. I do agree with your friend's concept that the idea of herpes could scare some people off. Howwever, if you wait until you know the person fairly well, before thing progress to an intimate level, beroe you tell the person, hopefully, his feelings will out weigh any fears he may have. Most fear is born ot of ignorance anyhow, so yo can educate him! I have had some clients who have herpes, and yes they have had some feelings of shame about it, but that can be deealt with. They always use a condom also. If you are friendly, have a positive attitude, and show a genuine inteerest in the other person, you most likely will find someone. My concern for you is that you let your "friend" put you down so much (even though her probably does not mean it) that your self esteen is suffering. Perhaps you should make that subject taboo when speaking wiiiiith him. Good luck to you, and take care. By the way I am a licensed clinical social worker in private practice. Barbara J. Escamilla LCSW