F. Smeath
I sympathize with your problems. They are very similar to mine, over many years, except that in my case, the problems contributed to a slow but relentless weight gain (which I'm finally succeeding at reversing, also very slowly, but steadily) instead of a low weight, as in your case. In my case, 25 years of muscle, joint, digestive, skin and related problems remained poorly understood and inaccurately diagnosed until a gold crown inserted between two large amalgam fillings pushed my body over the edge symptomatically and into an allergic or toxic reaction that lasted 9 months. Further testing revealed I was highly reactive to every type of amalgam then on the market and to many other dental products, from gold crown materials to gutta percha. Where amalgams do become toxic in the body, there usually has to be a fairly severe "doorway" situation: some trauma like a car accident or critical illness that suddenly puts the body into extreme stress, so that resistance to the minute amounts of amalgam which can leach into the bloodstream is compromised. In my case, a childhood bout of rheumatic fever burned the enamel away, just as my permanent teeth were coming in, leaving my whole mouth but especially the gums exposed to amalgam leaching. The hypothesis is that even the tiny amounts of amalgam material that came unbound from the fillings were sufficient, over many years, to infiltrate the bloodstream, interfere with oxygen transport and other metabolic processes, and cause most of the poor health symptoms I was living with. If you have read Hal Huggins' book "It's All in Your Head" you already know about the possible link between amalgam problems and poor health. If you have not read this book, please do so. Dr. Huggins, as far as I know, is still on the American Dental Association's blacklist for believing amalgam is unhealthy. He may have some of the professional problems they claim he does; he may not. I do not know about that, but I can tell you that his description of the relationship between hair analysis findings and the physical symptoms of amalgam toxicity was about 98% accurate to my history. As a result of several tests which my dentist "let me take" after the gold crown caused so much anguish, he, too, came to the conclusion that removing the amalgams was appropriate. It took two years to get them all out, and much of the damage (low energy, limited food options, muscle and joint damage) will probably never be reversed. But I can function well now if I stay within the guidelines I have identified as sane for this particular body, given what has happened to it! I wanted to encourage you on a couple of fronts: (1) don't be afraid to pursue the possibility that dental amalgam is causing damage to your system and adding to your fatigue problems, but don't be afraid, either, to dismiss that cause if there is not enough evidence to point to. (I would strongly recommend you get a trace metals hair analysis test to see whether your blood metabolism is good or compromised right now. If it is basically good, then amalgam is unlikely to be a cause.) The essential point is not to let your doctor scoff at or ridicule you for trying to find out whether amalgam is involved. Look him/her straight in the eye and say "Hey! I'm trying to regain my health. This may or may not be the problem; I have to understand it well enough to be able to recognize or eliminate it. Pretending it doesn't exist isn't going to help!" And if he/she still balks at helping (or your dentist does), then you need to calmly but seriously search for a doctor or dentist whose mind is open enough to consider this possibility. (2) You mentioned the leg pain getting worse when you get upset. Everyone who lives with fibromyalgia and the sometimes unbearable fatigue and pain that come along with it has to confront, eventually, how to deal with frustration and loss of temper. I can only say that "learning to let all the mad drain out" has been a major breakthrough for me in fighting back on a daily basis. If you can stop asking "Why me?" and stop feeling guilty when your family tries to make you feel guilty, and stop agreeing with the suspicion that you are no longer a valuable human being because you can't do what other people do so easily, you will find the sense of being constantly harried by life and irritated at it will drop away. When that happens, your inside tensions will also begin to ease and you will find yourself better able to make specific, clear and responsible decisions about how to handle your health problems. May I make a suggestion about food? At your very low weight of 95, obviously dieting is the last thing you need, but I hope you are carefully concentrating on the most nutritious and metabolically balanced diet you can. If you are including things like soft drinks (diet or not), potato chips, margarine and other processed foods, etc., you are making it harder for your already compromised digestive system to process food and energize your muscles. Please look closely at your current diet and see whether you are eating really fresh, natural, healthy food (loads of green and yellow veggies, fresh fruit--best eaten separately from all other foods because it's high in natural sugars--and "best" proteins like very lean meats and fish like salmon [look for sales!]. I have had to cut out bread and pasta completely because of my particular digestive problems, but it's unlikely you will have to go that far. The important thing is to look at your whole eating regimen and see if you can weed out everything that is artificial. You will actually do much better having a pat of butter than a pat of margarine, and an apple will produce better energy than a caffeine-laden soft drink. Bottom line is to accept yourself as a healthy personality and live with that concept every hour of every day--the body is just a covering for who you really are, and you don't have to live with a sick mentality, even if your family doesn't understand right now and tries to make you feel like someone who has a sick mentality, who could just "snap out of it" if you would. Some people get Lou Gehrig's disease or cancer; some people die too soon in terrible accidents; some people are the victims of crime; you and I and many, many other people got saddled with a really nasty health problem which is hard for people who haven't had it to understand. Just accept that. Call it a "given" of your life, and get on! I hope you will also accept that you don't have to give up joy, self-esteem, or even the possibility of contributing to the welfare of people around you, once you find out how to balance your health restrictions with what you want to accomplish. Be patient with your family and try to educate them, even if it seems like an impossibility! And best of luck to you in finding your own pathway through this unwanted but real experience. My clan has a saying that has helped me though many difficulties--I hope it will help you, too. The saying is: "An inconvenience is an adventure, rightly considered." Good luck!