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borderline personality disorder


Message 14 of 14 Previous

I just got my diagnosis before Christmas, after a nervous breakdown, (or nervous breakthrough if you like) and having researched it using the net, I realise that the medical profession, (particularly concerning Mental Health) will go out of their way to avoid discussing this subject. It's taken ten years to get my diagnosis, and all the while, I thought I was going crazy. It's thought to be one of the most difficult conditions in psychiatry to diagnose, and even more difficult to treat. And yet, when I read through some of the info that came up when I ran a search, I realised that I've been showing symptoms since I was 12. It's taken so long to convince them that it wasn't the teenage 'phase' they promised my parents I'd grow out of. The common problem that seems shared by all who suffer this dreadful condition, is the lack of help from the professionals.They simply dont LISTEN. They seem to think that they can fob us off with meds; many of which are prescribed without consideration, and can actually make the condition worse in some people. I cancelled my sessions with my psychotherapist. I went for nearly three years, but right from the begining, I got the distinct sense that she wasn't listening to me. She would patronise me, and talk down to me. She spoke to me as though I were simple, which only served to make me even more resentful. The day that I walked out, I'd ended up completely frayed, and I'd yelled: "I may be disturbed, but I'm not retarded!" The sickening thing is, they dont seem to want to listen, or even try to offer support or encouragment. I managed to get a sneak peek at my notes one day, and my psychotherapist had written AWKWARD PATIENT. The more I invaded my files and inspected the contents, the more I discovered that I was considered an awkward patient... I'm not sure how any of us are supposed to get help, when the professionals refuse to talk about it, accept that it exists, accept that we're not crazy. I'm still trying to get refered to a psychiatrist, for a drug evaluation. I'm currently taking no meds, but finding the mood swings really difficult to manage. With the right help I should be able to identify the triggers, and minimise the terrible lows. And the right meds could improve my temperament, and get me socially integrated again. I strongly advise that you go back to your Dr, and demand the help that you need, and deserve. BPD seriously ruins your quality of life, as I'm sure you are no doubt aware. Maybe you could print out some info from the links. Most Drs, GPs, and even the psychy people dont know enough about the condition, and would rather skirt around it, than learn about it. I hope that it wont take years for those in the medical profession to listen. I hope that you find a decent psychiatrist (although they're few and far between), and that you persue a proper diagnosis. The diagnosis is half way to getting the help you need. Dont let them ignore YOU. Best of luck to you.


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