I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My mother went through breast cancer, a cerebral aneurysm (which they caught and clamped to keep it from bursting) followed by stroke like aftereffects from which she worked really hard to overcome, and finally died in 1986 from ovarian cancer (not related to the breast cancer she had previously) It has been 14 years since her death, and I still grieve for her constantly. My father died 1/2/00 after open heart surgery and pneumonia that followed and my grief has doubled due to this. However, I am 40 yrs old with 2 little girls at home ( a 3 yr old and a 1 1/2 yr old), and I had to realize that I need to be strong in order to have a good relationship and strong family ties with them and my husband. It's so easy to be mad at the world, all the "what if's" that continually come to mind, did we say "I love you" enough, etc... If you were close to your mother as I was with both my parents, you have to realize that time doesn't heal the loss, but it does make it easier to cope with. Talk to supportive friends, spouse, etc... that will let you get it all out, cry, or whatever you need, and then continue to go on with your life with your family and live every day to the fullest. Your mother will always be with you, and as my 3yr old says about her Grandpa, he's all better now mom, and he watches over us from heaven. You will have a special guardian angel to watch over you and always remember that when you feel overwhelmingly sad, think of the good things that you had over the years with your mother and feel especially blessed that you had that time with her. If you feel that none of this will help, find a good bereavement counselor or group where you can relate with people that have been through the same thing. No one really can understand unless they have been through it also. Just remember that it will get easier with time, but don't ever feel alone in your sadness. I hope this helps you and you will be in my prayers!!