This may sound strange to you but I am a grief worker/counselor and have worked with several people with similar symptoms. Check in your phone book for the closest hospice and ask to talk to someone in their bereavement department about the grief issues your are trying to work through. Some funeral homes offer grief counseling. I don'[t kow where you live but if it is anywhere Cleveland, Ohio there are several funeral homes that provide this service. However, the hospice would be your better place to start, even though your deaths did not occur to terminal illness and you did not use their services. Believe it or not grief will do this. Good Luck.