Jill, please don't think suicide is the answer! I suffer the same thing, and have since I was a teen. I am 38 now, and have been on Xanax, 1mg three times/day. I started on xanax 0.5mg three times/day in 1982, and that was the start of a "normal" life for me after the first 5 days of "drowsiness" of getting used to the medication. I had to drop out of highschool, and could not even food shop! I married in 1982, had 2 boys (yes, on the xanax), my OB understood that I needed it to live more than the risk to babies, but I had to reduce the dose to 0.125mg twice a day during pregnancy, and my boys are now healthy 15 and 9 yr olds. What I want to warn you about is that it (anxiety, panic, and depression) are symptoms of what is a fatal condition that is rare and not tested for in a psych. setting, and should be! I was diagnosed at age 35 with Wilson's Disease. It causes lots of psych symptoms along with other vague physical symptoms. Once I was labeled "a psychiatric case", all of my physical symptoms were taken by docs (all of them, even neurologists) as if I was a "drug addict and/or hypochondriac". Lots of people go through this, and it is sad! There are easy blood and urine tests, and an eye dr. exam can diagnose this, but all tests must be done together. A 24 hr. urine for copper, a blood ceruloplasmin level, and an MD eye dr slit lamp exam for Keiser Fleisher rings in the eyes. Not all wilson's patients have all of these abnormal. It is a copper excess that poisens the liver, brain, then every other organ one by one. I was caught too late to be "symptom free", but at least the docs I go to believe me now, and I get the best of care! One in every 100 people carry the gene for this disease, and all it takes is one gene from ea. parent. I hope you do not have it, but if you do, there is much support, online and off. The Wilsons-List is online support group. Please spread the word to any one you know w/ ANY psych symptoms, and I will be praying for you. E-mail me if you need to!