I am 46, married 18 years with a teenage daugher who does not exhibit my symptoms. I had all of the problems your sons are experiencing, and I was raised in an abusive home. My wife has just decided to love me in spite of this problem; she has nurtured me into a much stronger and confident man. I can hold down a good-paying job and it is all because of her devotion to stay with me. We have a wonderful marriage that we keep strong through our faith in Christ. The only advise I can give you as a parent is to just continue to love your sons. My parents didn't. I very nearly didn't survive my childhood. Godspeed.